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A Forward Thinker. Humorist. Realist. Author of The Admissions Game, Application Cycle 2020–2021. A Very Former, Assistant District Attorney. gaytoday.blog

COVID RE-BOOT!

Mask up! (Braces optional!)

It’s happenin’ again! Shiat!

Time to wear the mask baby! Whether you like it or not, COVID is here to stay. Think of this as shiat on a shoe. Even if you think you removed it from your shoe, it’s still there. That smell. You just can’t get rid of it.

This is analogous to COVID. Get it?

COVID is NOT goin’ away. At least not until more people get vaccinated.

I for one, never had COVID. I have no idea why I did not catch this virus, or, shall I say, COVID never caught me. However, I march on!

Dr. Fauci’s COVID Prevention Tips


The Dean of Undergraduate Admissions at all U.S. colleges are currently reviewing all Regular Decision applications for the admissions cycle 2020–2021. Good luck to all the desperate applicants!

Based on record numbers of Early Decision (ED) and Early Action (EA) applications at all top colleges, I am confident these same schools will be inundated with tens of thousands of Regular Decision applications for the class of 2025.

The bookies in Vegas have better odds for winning the next horse race, than for getting a student with a 4.0 GPA, perfect SAT scores and exceptional Extra Curricular Activities (EC’s) accepted to…


Waiting for College Admissions Decision Day!

Anxious nerdy youngster asking for help, by Kegfire

Well, it is that time of year again! Nervous and anxious high school seniors waiting to learn their college admissions fate!

Will it be Door #1: Accepted, Door #2: Rejected, or Door #3 Waitlisted?

Only the Dean Knows An Applicant’s College Destiny!

True! Only the Dean knows who will be accepted, rejected or waitlisted. The student’s academic future is in the hands of the almighty Dean of Undergraduate Admissions. Pray to the Dean!

Parents are Powerless in the College Admissions Process

1. Parents are not part of the college admissions process.

2. A parent cannot advocate on behalf of their…


BAD MOM

An Open Letter to Parents of the Class of 2025

Oh yeah baby! It is that time of year! Elite US Colleges will begin to release their regular decision notifications to class of 2025 applicants this week.

Welcome to Gay’s World, where we have been there, done that when it comes to college admissions. We have experienced the incredible thrill of victory, and the agonizing agony of defeat.

We parents must come together as we await the fate of our beloved offspring, our cherubs, yes, our children. …


Ask E. Jean…

Hey Girlfriends! What is the good word these days? Did your genius get accepted to their #1 choice college?

Regular Decisions Rolling In

You betcha baby! Parents are learning which colleges accepted and rejected their offspring. As I reported in previous articles, there will be a record number of shattered egos this year. I am talking parents, not their kids.

It will be a real shiat show. I can’t even imagine. If junior does not get accepted to Harvard, what was the point of the years of groveling to get your kid accepted to an elite nursery school, paying private…


Go Away. NOW!

I do declare that COVID has gone viral!

Like duh! Yes, indeed, that genius pun came to me last night as I was
sippin’ a fine libation.

The things I think of. Oy. I know, pure genius. So, blessed. Not easy
beinGay!

Love Thy Neighbor

Yes…no. Love thy whaaaat?

Word on the street, is that the COVID family has moved to my neighborhood.

Sistahs, as it says in the good book, ‘love thy neighbor’. Amen.

Well, sometimes you can. Not all the time. I don’t love thy neighbors who
are loud at night, don’t spray for ticks, cut their lawns on…


Bagel Spread

Omg! I believe, I just might have attended a Super-Spreader Event! And no, this does NOT excite me.

The mere thought of attending a Super-Spreader causes me to break out in hives, night-sweats, and insomnia between the hours of 12:30am -3:30am. This culminates in uncontrollable bouts of anxiety.

Hallelujah girlfriends! This happens every day, but at least I finally have a good excuse.

Vaccination Defense

Y’all know that I am vaccinated. But I wonder… is the person standing next to me vaccinated? I just don’t know. At night, anyone can tell I am vaccinated because I glow in the dark…


Norman Rockwell “Before the Shot”

Really? The phrases our society comes up with these days…

Pandemic Life OVER!

I for one, thought COVID was in my rear-view mirror. Or that is what I wanted to believe.

Yeah baby! I began to embrace the new ‘roaring 20’s’ and was makin’ plans! For many months, we have been dining indoors at restaurants (a novel concept), welcoming friends and family inside our home (another novel concept), scheduled a vacation (bought airplane tickets and paid in advance for hotels, and wait for it, got tickets to see the Eagles perform live at Madison Square Garden in NYC in 2…


THE HAMPTONS SUMMER OF 2021 PART XV

Rental Perk!

My neighbor in the Hamptons wants to rent their house for the last two weeks of summer.

And oh, what a house! Before I start advertisin’ this property, I must issue a disclaimer: I am not a real estate broker.

The House

Situated literally steps from the beach, recently flush with upgrades such as new toilets and a kitchen, this is the quintessential home to create new memories.

And… wait for it! Here is the kicker: the house comes with a Jewish Mama!

No other home in the Hamptons boasts this feature. Yes! You could rent a Hamptons summer home…

GayToday 'Not Easy BeinGAY!'

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